North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service – Citizens Advice
North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service
What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic Abuse is the intentional use of verbal, emotional, psychological, financial and physical abusive tactics and behaviours in order to maintain power and control over and manipulate a partner, ex partner or family member.
Domestic Abuse represents one quarter of all violent crime in the UK. Domestic Abuse is any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
It arises from the misuse of power and control by one person over another. It is a series of incidents and behaviours that usually escalate over time. The abuse includes different abusive behaviours that can be used together or separately over a period of time.
Physical abuse can include:
- Hair pulling
- Smashing objects
Verbal abuse can include:
- Name calling
- Putting down
- Shouting at
- Swearing at
Emotional abuse can include:
- Being told you are useless, worthless, pathetic, too fat, too thin, ugly
- Threats to harm or kill you or the children
- Threats to take the children away, that social services will take the children away
- Changing the rules
- Whatever you do is not good enough
- Being nice one moment abusive the next
- Not being allowed to see family or friends
- Harassing by texts, phone calls
- Stalking, checking up on
Sexual abuse can include:
- Being forced to have sex against your will
- Being forced to have sex with others/in front of others
- Being forced to watch or take part in pornography
- Any sexual act that you have not consented to
Financial abuse can include:
- Withholding money
- Not allowing you access to bank/savings accounts
- Making you beg for money
- Making you account for every penny spent
- Not allowing you access to benefits
- Forcing you to take out a loan
The above lists are just a small sample of behaviours used in abusive relationships.
The abuse may not be constant there may be times where your abuser says s/he is sorry and promises not to do it again, they promise to change, they blame stress, anger, alcohol, the children, you. They may buy you gifts, cry and beg. These are tactics used to keep you from leaving the relationship in the belief that things will get better.
It is difficult to understand why the person you love, who says they love you, is abusive to you.
How We Can Help
We will always listen, support and believe
Either on the telephone, by email or face to face at a safe location, we provide practical advice and emotional support which includes:
- keeping yourself safe
- relationship issues
- housing issues
- welfare benefit entitlement
- child contact issues
- civil orders and injunctions
- support through the criminal process
- advice about the Specialist Domestic Violence Court
It is not your fault, you are not to blame. You are not alone. Men and women of all ages, cultures, religions, sexual orientation, from all walks of life can be victims of domestic abuse.
Our Domestic Abuse Team includes qualified Independent Domestic Violence Advisers who can support and advise you on a wide variety of problems caused by domestic abuse, as well as providing you with emotional support.
Affected by Domestic Abuse?
If your enquiry is about domestic abuse, please call 01932 260690 between 9.30 and 4.30 Monday to Fridays.
You can leave a message or email firstname.lastname@example.org. There is a Surrey Domestic Abuse 24 hour helpline: 01483 776822.
Further information on Relationships, including Domestic Abuse, is also available on the Adviceguide website.
Another source of help for Domestic Abuse is Your Sanctuary, a local charity that provides a range of services which offer emotional and practical support to people and their children who are experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse.
The North Surrey Domestic Abuse Service is managed by Citizens Advice Elmbridge (West)
At Citizens Advice Elmbridge (West), we provide free, confidential, independent and impartial advice to anyone aged 16 or above affected by domestic abuse living in the boroughs of Epsom & Ewell, Elmbridge or Spelthorne.
All our outreach workers are fully qualified Citizens Advice advisers who have also received specialist training in domestic abuse related matters and are qualified Independent Domestic Violence Advisers.
We can assist by giving skilled practical help, ongoing emotional support, and information and advice on issues such as safety planning, housing rights, relationships and separation, civil and criminal court proceedings, and the needs of children affected by domestic abuse. The support offered can be on the telephone, face to face at a safe venue, or by email.
We work in partnership with the other Surrey Domestic Abuse Services. Our shared values are:
- Empowering survivors to make decisions about their own future
- Increasing safety
- Reducing risk
- Working for Justice
- Ensuring equality of opportunity & access to services
- Promoting recovery and positive futures
- Report centrally
- Ensure representation at essential Surrey DA meetings & other relevant groups
- Continue to innovate & provide the best value services
- Work with partners & funders to ensure that the needs and voices of survivors are valued
The Citizens Advice service helps people solve their legal, consumer and other problems by providing free advice, and by influencing policymakers. Every Citizens Advice centre is a registered charity and more than 21,000 of the people involved in the service are trained volunteers, helping people to resolve nearly 5.3 million new problems a year.
Our values are to:
- Focus on clients
- Achieve results
- Promote equality and fairness
- Work together
- Value each other
- Continually improve our service